I'm writing a little book for myself, and don't intend to attempt to have it published. However, I would like to make sure that no one ever steals my work. How can I get a copyright on it?

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http://www.copyright.gov/

The second you put your thoughts on paper, you've secured their copyright. However, to protect yourself from infringement, it's not enough to secure their copyright, but to be able to prove that you've secured their copyright. A cheap way to do this is to register mail yourself a copy of your manuscript and keep it sealed until legally necessary. It's not the most airtight way of doing it -- you can phony these things -- but unless you're going up against an ace legal team, it will probably work in most cases to prove prior ownership, or so I have heard. A more expensive, but surefire, way to prove prior ownership of your material is to register it with the US Copyright Office (Library of Congress), : http://www.copyright.gov.